i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
