My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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