We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
