She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Randomize
