I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
