Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
