I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
They took my balls.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
