I think scott just propositioned me for sex
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
