is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
