He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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