i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
