That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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