What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
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Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
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I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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