Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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