my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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