nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
