textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize
