i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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