Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
