THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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