i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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