My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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