What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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