Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Fuck appropriateness.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
