Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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