AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
not ubering you a puppy
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
