Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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