eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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