last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
