girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
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I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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