why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
