I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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