i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
