If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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