We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
