Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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