I'm drive I can fine osifer
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
