Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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