i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
