I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
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If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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