thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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