you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
