This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags