I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
