While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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