Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
