New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
