A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
farters have to be the big spoon...
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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