I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
