That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I cut my penus on the lid.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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