So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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