We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
