Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
