Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
people are starting to question the shark bite story
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
